


Sleepless night

by Cuillere



Series: 15 days of Hurt and Comfort Kylo (Tumblr, @hurtkylofest) [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, LFF Comment Project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 01:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuillere/pseuds/Cuillere
Summary: Ren has a hell of a night.





	Sleepless night

**Author's Note:**

> Some more for @hurtkylofest ! I’m so happy I got this motivated for the fest!! :) And I’m definitely making the most of this relatively calm set of days because I will probably have a hard time writing anything during the second half of next week!
> 
> Day 4 was Bedridden. I’m not entirely sure this fits the prompt, but still had fun writing it :)

Kylo Ren was lying in his bed, eyes closed and seemingly distressed.  
When a whine escaped him, he bolted right up, eyes wide and breath short.  
After just an instant, he exhaled and slumped his shoulders, but that didn’t stop him from feeling anxious and sweaty.  
He couldn’t recall anything from his short time asleep, but the uneasiness was still very present. He closed his eyes, willing it away and brought his arms around himself, finding some weird comfort in the sensation.  
  
He waited for his breathing to steady before he opened his eyes again.  
He huffed and lied down. His eyes were scratchy and dry. He could feel the tension and soreness in all of his body. His head was swimming in a deep fog and he felt hopeless.  
He was used to nightmares but being unable to sleep was mostly new.  
He pinched his eyes closed and slowed down his breathing.  
  
After a while of his consciousness refusing to drift off, he opened his eyes, angry with himself. Why would he not just sleep? He was exhausted. He simply needed to rest for a few hours. But apparently, he was unable to.  
  
The ship was starting to awake and the calm of the night was slowly edging away. Without knowing the exact hour, Ren knew the cantina was open and he could go there to get something to eat. But he couldn’t will himself to get up.  
His body was still sore and he craved rest from consciousness, even a short rest would do. But the view of the plain ceiling did seem to provoke thoughts. He closed his eyes again, inspired slowly by the nose and tried to contain his anger at himself.  
If he couldn’t sleep, he would try meditating. It may not be the best rest ever, but he thought it might help soothing the turmoil of emotions and random thoughts.  
  
The sensations in his body were many and the slight ache all over was mostly helping him redirect his thoughts. But his heightened awareness also brought out his feelings.  
Anger, frustration, and disappointment were roaming through him freely. Disappointment brought with it memories.  
  
For some reason, every time Kylo was disappointed in himself, he had this mental image of a disappointed, scolding glare. He actually couldn’t tell if the brown eyes were Skylwalker’s, Snoke’s, Han’s, Leia’s or Rey’s. They sort of belonged to all of them, and it did not really matter.  
  
At that moment, though, the vision was enough for him to realize he had drifted off and he came back to his meditation.  
After just a short while, anger and disappointment were magnified again, though.  
  
What felt like a thousandth time catching his thoughts away from the meditation had Ren giving up. There was no meditating in his state.  
  
He would just have to will himself to function through one additional day.  
  
His quick and efficient moves brought him under the hot running water in no time at all.  
The soft pounding of the water on his skin, the regular sound of the water and the warmth brought to his body took some time but finally calmed him down, slowly edging the uneasiness and the anger away.  
  
There, with his eyes closed, he could forget his lack of sleep. He was still tired, of course. But now, he was relaxed.  
Now, he could believe that the coming day was not going to be so bad.  
Now, he could hope.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
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